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Author: saralover
Published: 2007-06-07 23:27:38
Last edit: 2007-06-06 23:16:52
Tags: drugs love novel
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When Michael gets home from work he sees Sara sitting on the couch a pillow clutched tightly to her chest
she looked so frail in grey sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt, her beautiful eyes focused on a spot on the wall
"You're home"
he spoke softly not wanting to startle her as she didn't seem to have noticed his presence
he took off his leather jacket and kneeled down in front of her in dark denims and a dark green sweater
"did you eat yet?" he said stroking her cheek with the back of his hand
she shook her head "I'm not hungry"
she closed her eyes for a second trying to force out the craving for another fix
"Are you okay?"
she let out a bitter laugh
she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck
he put his arms around her waist
"Don't go.. please" her voice is small and broken begging him
"I'm not going anywhere"
he gathers her up in his arms and carries her into their bedroom
where he lays her down on the bed before lying next to her
he intertwines her slender fingers with his own
she closes her eyes at his touch, letting it fill her mind
he speaks softly
"How long have you been.. eh.. using again?"
she hesitates for a moment than breathes in  and out deeply and answers truthfully
"six days. How'd you know?"
he brushes his thumb along her knuckles
"You think I don't know you?"
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I guess I was just hoping that I was wrong.
 Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was hoping it would go away. I was scared."
tears welled up in her sad hazel orbs and she made no attempt to stop them from pouring down her cheeks
"You made it pretty clear last time that you weren't sticking around if I started using again"

**** flashback ****
they'd been dating for two months when michael found her in the bathroom plunging a syringe into her arm
he had left the room and waited for her she didn't come out for another 3 hours
and he made no attempt to get her out sooner
she sat down on her bed
"What's going on Sara?"
"What do you mean?" she asked playing dumb
when the morphine wore off and she became light headed she let her head fall back into the pillows
he saw her eyeing her purse
"You need more?"
"You know exactly what I mean!"
he grabbed her purse
she flew off the bed and reached for it but he held it out of her reach
"You don't need to be doing this Sara
What are you? A junkie?"
"How dare you say that to me?!
YOU have NO IDEA what you're talking about
you don't even know me"
"You say that, but I don't believe it and neither do you"
he toar open her purse and grabbed 5 bottles of morphine
"Just give me the GOD DAMN bottles and leave!"
"when did this start?"
"give it to me!"
"what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"give me the FUCKING drugs michael!"
when he made no attempt to move she struck his face
he put his hand to his face where she had hit him only seconds before
"i'm sorry" her eyes started to water "i'm so sorry"
she backed herself into the wall
tears now streaming down her face in despair
he walked up to her but she turned to face the wall before he reached her
he put his hands on her shoulders
"sara let me help you
tell me how I can help you.. please"
"you can't. this is my problem"
he turned her around brushing her hair out of her face
"I can if you let me"
she looked up at him "how?"
"I could stay with you
 help you through the withdrawal"
"No. I.. I can't"
"why not?"
"because.. I..I don't know if i'm strong enough.. to do this again"
"I know, but you can do this. you are strong enough
 and i'll be here to remind you of that"
**** flashback ****

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough"
"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to,
 why are you doing this to yourself again?"
"It just hurts too much and i'm sorry I couldn't be who you want me to be"
she gets up and walks to the bathroom
"where are you going?"
"I can't watch you leave"
"I'm not leaving you, I wanna help you"
"You can't"
"I love you"
he frames her beautiful face with his hands
"I love you Sara"

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