oondi | Free Articles. Write for Cash.

Invite your friends to read this article

If you have made the choice to date, then chances are you have broken up with or have been on the receiving end of a break-up, with a partner. The first thing to remember is that you are not alone and break-ups happen to everyone (Happy...). Although, a cliché, time does heal all wounds but in the meantime use these five tips to ease the pains of a break-up.

1) Now, that your relationship has ended it is time to take a good look at the people in your life. It is a good idea to foster some close relationships with those who offer a positive outlook on life. Friendships boost your self-esteem, provide companionship and create positive mental health (Mayo). If there are people in your life that are controlling or act as a negative influence, then now would be a good time to weed these friendships out. Friends often act as a buffer to the ups and downs of life and a break-up is definitely on the down side of the spectrum but friends can pick you right back up (Mayo). Invite a friend out to coffee and discuss what a heartless jerk(ette) your last partner was. You will be glad you did.

2) It is a good idea to get back in touch with some supportive relatives. Family can be a source of inspiration as many of the baby boomer generation are sure to have suffered break-ups in their own relationships. A kind sensitive ear can come in handy after a break-up. Yes, adults are quite capable in dealing with the pains of a break-up by themselves but a quick call to a mom, dad, or grandmother is sure to cheer most people up.

3) This is the time to grab a set of calipers and go rock-climbing, kayaking, or any other adventure, sport-hobby. Now is the time to experience new situations and events, which you didn't have time for while dating. Try something you've never done before or visit somewhere you've never been. Pick something that you and your ex did not share together. This will foster a sense of independence from the relationship (Happy...). Turn some of the sad or angry emotions into positive action and have fun while doing it.

 4) Take some time off from dating for introspection and reflection; this is not the time for a rebound relationship. One way to magnify the pain of one broken relationship is by getting involved in another, before you are ready. Rebound relationships often act as distractions as a person looks to deal with the pain of a former relationship by getting involved in another (Divorce). Instead, take a look at some of the highlights and low-lights of the previous relationship and learn from your mistakes. As well, with a little distance a person can look back and see some of the negative qualities that the ex had, while deciding to make better choices in the future. Take your time.

5) Have a look at the incompatibility factor. It might be tempting to blame oneself for a break-up but the truth is, it wasn't your fault. There are many reasons for a break-up and many could relate to your ex-partner or to the situation. So, say to yourself, it wasn't my fault. Scream it if you have to! There are many reasons why a break-up occurs and just because someone wasn't able to see all of your positive qualities doesn't mean that another partner will do the same. Believe in your self and your positive qualities.

Finally, after a break-up it sometimes feels like the pain will cause an inner implosion, but the pain is only temporary. Things will get better over time and will the help from some positive support, your situation will improve. As well, your experience from surviving a break-up can create a greater sense of empathy that will empower you in future relationships and ,in the end, a break-up can be changed into a positive experience.

Sources

Friendships: Enrich your Life and Improve your Health (2007). Retrieved September 16, 2008, from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/friendships/MH00125
 
Ho, C. (n.d.). Surviving a Break-Up. Retrieved September 16, 2008, from http://www.happygrrls.com/relating/survivingabreakup.html

Meyer, C. (n.d.). Rebound Relationship. Retrieved September 16, 2008, from http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/romanceafterdivorce/p/reboundrelation.htm